不要把姐当黄金看，姐其实是一颗闪闪发光的钻石。

Don't regard elder sister as gold. Elder sister is actually a shining diamond.

找女朋友别找我这样的，太多人追的，给不了你安全感。

Looking for a girlfriend, don't look for me, too many people chase, can't give you a sense of security.

有人说我不要脸，这简直胡扯，这么美我哪舍得不要。

Some people say i don't want to be shameless. it's nonsense. i'm not willing to be so beautiful.

如果你主动一点，我们不光会有故事，还会有孩子。

If you take the initiative a bit, we will not only have stories, but also children.

我不是在争论，我只是在解释为什么我是对的。

I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right.

我不是懒，我只是在节约能量。

I'm not lazy, I'm just conserving energy.

我不是矮，我只是集中注意力显得特别厉害。

I'm not short, I'm just concentrated awesome.

我不是在争论，我只是在热情地表达我的观点。

I'm not arguing, I'm just passionately expressing my opinion.

我不是怪人，我只是限量版。

I'm not weird, I'm just limited edition.

我不是拖延，我只是在优先安排不做任何事情。

I'm not procrastinating, I'm just prioritizing doing nothing.

我不是总是对的，但我从不犯错。

I'm not always right, but I'm never wrong.

我不是早起的人，我是咖啡人。

I'm not a morning person, I'm a coffee person.

我不是胖，我只是容易看见。

I'm not fat, I'm just easy to see.

我不是在忽视你，我只是在思考自己的事情。

I'm not ignoring you, I'm just lost in my own thoughts.

我告诉妻子她画眉毛画得太高了。她看起来很惊讶。

I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.

我过去是个面包师，但我做不了足够的生面团。

I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.

我妻子问我生日想要什么，我说，‘一周的假期!’她说，‘那不太浪漫。’我说，‘我的生日也是!’

My wife asked me what I wanted for my birthday. I said, ‘A week off work!’ She said, ‘That’s not very romantic.’ I said, ‘Neither is my birthday!’

这些句子以幽默和机智的方式表达了各种情感和观点，适合在轻松愉快的场合使用。希望这些句子能给你带来欢乐!